Talking to family about the environment can feel like walking across a frozen pond in spring: a few safe steps… and then suddenly crack. One wrong phrase, and the whole conversation drops into a chilly argument nobody wanted.
The good news? Most of the drama can be avoided by steering clear of a few common conversational traps.
Think of this guide as your friendly map to the safe, warm side of the pond.
Here are the top things not to say—along with what to try instead.
1. “You’re wrong.”
Even when they are wrong, this is the conversational equivalent of slamming a door.
People rarely change their minds after being told they’re incorrect; they double down. And if they already think environmental issues are political or exaggerated, this phrase pushes them further into their bunker.
Say instead:
“Hmm, that’s interesting. I’ve heard something a little different—want to hear it?”
You create an invitation, not a challenge.
2. “How can you not believe the science?”
This sentence sounds like a simple appeal to facts, but to someone who feels overwhelmed or suspicious of climate talk, it reads as:
“You’re ignorant.”
And no one wants to keep chatting after hearing that.
Try:
“Science explanations can get confusing—what’s your take on the weird weather lately?”
Now you’re meeting them on shared ground instead of talking down.
3. “If you cared about your kids/grandkids, you’d care about the environment.”
This one might be the most tempting—and the most damaging.
It hits below the belt, because it tells them they’re bad people with bad values. The conversation won’t recover.
Try:
“I think we both want a healthy, safe future for the kids in the family. I’m just trying to figure out what I can do to help.”
You connect through shared love rather than implied guilt.
4. “You’re part of the problem.”
Even if Uncle Joe drives a 13-mpg truck, heats his house by keeping every window open, and leaves the TV running for ambiance… calling him “the problem” ends things fast.
People respond well when they feel empowered—not shamed.
Try:
“I’ve been trying a few little things to cut waste—it’s honestly simpler than I expected.”
You model, not accuse.
5. “We need to fix the planet before it’s too late!”
Urgency is real, but doom language shuts people down. It feels like the emotional equivalent of being backed into a corner.
Try:
“I’ve been learning some cool ways communities are helping clean up air and water—it feels good to see progress.”
Positive beats apocalyptic every time.
6. “How can you say climate change is fake? Look at the data!”
You know what happens next:
You pull out data.
They pull out different data.
Someone quotes a YouTuber.
Someone else sighs loudly.
Dinner gets cold.
If a relative is truly convinced climate change is fake, a data battle won’t win them over—it just signals that you’re gearing up for a fight.
Try:
“Fair enough—people hear different things. I’m mostly focused on keeping our local air and water clean. That feels like something we can all get behind.”
You shift the frame from global to local—much more relatable.
7. “Everyone who disagrees is stupid.”
This may feel satisfying to say in your head, but out loud it’s a conversational supernova.
Try:
“People have different experiences—what’s yours been like around weather or energy stuff lately?”
Curiosity always opens doors.
8. “You should…”
“You should recycle.”
“You should install solar.”
“You should stop eating meat.”
“You should drive less.”
Should-statements trigger defensiveness instantly. They turn a conversation into homework.
Try:
“I’ve been doing X lately, and it’s actually been easier than I expected.”
People are far more open to trying something when they’ve seen it work for someone they know.
9. “This is the most important issue in the world—how do you not see that?”
Maybe it is the most important issue in the world to you. But starting from that height is intimidating—and can feel like moral superiority.
Try:
“Environmental stuff is one of the things I care about. What issues do you care about most?”
This shows respect—and respect keeps people talking.
10. “Let me explain it to you…”
Unless you’re saying this to a curious 8-year-old, it can come off as patronizing.
Try:
“Here’s something I learned recently—I thought it was kind of cool.”
Same idea, way softer approach.
What All These Don’ts Have in Common
If you look closely, every “don’t” here has a shared theme:
They make the other person feel judged, cornered, embarrassed, or powerless.
And every “do instead” has the opposite effect:
They make people feel respected, curious, and included.
That’s the whole magic of environmental conversations with family—especially those who think climate change is exaggerated or fake. If you keep things light, human, and connection-first, you’ll be amazed how much more open people become.
